dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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