Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
