David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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