It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
