You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
