I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
