3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize