Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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