We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
