He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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