Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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