your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
