at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
