You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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