Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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