It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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