A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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