I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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