the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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