listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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