I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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