Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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