don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
