You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
