Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
