She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize