Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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