Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
