Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
