Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
someone owes me an orgasm
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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