hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Randomize