I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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