Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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