When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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