Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
