Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
