I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
