I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im holly from the hills drunk
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
