Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
