I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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