U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
