STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
