so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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