U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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