Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
