I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
