im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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