Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
