I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
