Are we in a gay sports bar?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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