i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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