there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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