i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
