I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
