if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I love having hate sex.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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