then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
