Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
