remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
