I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
