There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
