I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize