I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
