He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
