My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
