Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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