Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize