I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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