You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
