I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize