around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
