Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
only you would photoshop your dick
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize