if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
