he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize