gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
