This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize