im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize