Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
sex in a hospital.. check
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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