She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
