So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
