these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
